Notes on Grief

I am Mary Balistreri, a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend and supporter of people.

I have lost myself and found myself and felt intense emotional pain and digressed and progressed and lived. This blog is about all of that. Wherever you are on your journey of grief, my hope is there will be something here for you.

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Your Way, My Way, Any Way

The Greatest Birthday Cake Ever, Easter, and No Pictures

Success! Wait! Then Where Is My Coat?

Mary Balistreri

Aug 119 min

Your Way, My Way, Any Way

I took a breather from grieving and guess what? It's still here. But as I feel lighter, I wonder whether I know how to comfort others.

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Mary Balistreri

Apr 88 min

The Greatest Birthday Cake Ever, Easter, and No Pictures

No pix celebrations. Remembrances from times when the pictures exist only in our minds, hearts, and emotions.

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Mary Balistreri

Feb 146 min

Success! Wait! Then Where Is My Coat?

I did it! I shredded the last shred of boxed up old paperwork. Dusty, nasty, musty, 20-plus- year-old paperwork fed through my household...

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Mary Balistreri

Feb 210 min

The Anniversaries. The Dogs Know.

When it comes to anniversaries and grieving, I was not sure what to expect or how I would feel. I prepared myself mentally for having a...

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Swedish Death Cleaning, Part III. Remembering Ann

Mary Balistreri

Jan 86 min

Swedish Death Cleaning, Part III. Remembering Ann

On my sister's first birthday since her death, I find myself smiling more than crying.

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Mary Balistreri

Dec 31, 20235 min

Accomplishments of A Griever

At the end of each year, I encourage my coaching clients to make a list of everything they accomplished. The act of writing things down...

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Can't Do All the Things? Light A Candle and Sit with Me.

mbalistreri2

Dec 18, 20236 min

Can't Do All the Things? Light A Candle and Sit with Me.

I tend to be an energetic person. I fill my calendar with appointments. I make long to do lists. I wake up early on the weekends and run...

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Mary Balistreri

Dec 3, 20234 min

Last Words. You Do Not Control Them.

In most movies and stories, when a significant person is dying, they utter something tremendously needed, important, or wise right before...

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Mary Balistreri

Nov 22, 20234 min

Dashing for Ashes - Grief Blog Is Back

I have always been an energetic person whose list overflowed with to do's and appointments. It was important to me to be the first in...

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Swedish Death Cleaning, Part II (The Last Grief Blog)

Mary Balistreri

Oct 3, 20234 min

Swedish Death Cleaning, Part II (The Last Grief Blog)

As I continue to wade and write my way through All the Stuff (see part I), my brain swims into the dense ocean of my life. It sticks to...

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Mary Balistreri

Sep 22, 20236 min

Grief Hurts - Literally

In reflecting on the seven months since my sister, Ann, died, I wondered about the effect grief has on the body. Where do we feel it when...

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Mary Balistreri

Sep 15, 202315 min

When Your Child Has A Disability

Writing these Grief Notes and sharing them with whoever might read them proves to be the best medicine possible for me. It allows me a...

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All the Guilts: Great & Small (or, Was I A Good Sister? Am I A Good Daughter?)

Mary Balistreri

Sep 8, 20235 min

All the Guilts: Great & Small (or, Was I A Good Sister? Am I A Good Daughter?)

I am flying. I am free. I feel great relief and boundless freedom. I am free. It's a taboo in our culture to admit the happiness one can...

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All the Stuff (Swedish Death Cleaning, Part I)

Mary Balistreri

Sep 1, 202310 min

All the Stuff (Swedish Death Cleaning, Part I)

If you have not heard of Swedish Death Cleaning, it's a book (The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson) and a TV...

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Mary Balistreri

Aug 25, 202310 min

All the Baby Stuff

A baby shower can be loaded with emotional pain for a woman who cannot seem to conceive a baby, or who lost a child, or who had a...

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Mary Balistreri

Aug 19, 20237 min

All the Spooky Stuff

My Sicilian grandmother, Nancy, told me once that my sister Ann was born with the sign of the witch - a streak of white in her hair. I...

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Mary Balistreri

Aug 11, 20236 min

Losing Colleagues & Your Identity

In the Fall of 1999, my husband suffered a medical event that left him temporarily disabled. He walked with a cane, he could not do his...

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Mary Balistreri

Aug 4, 20234 min

Take A Happiness Break

Listen to the wind. Feel the moisture in the early morning air. Hear the silence. Breathe it in and let it go. Let it all go. My sister...

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Mary Balistreri

Jul 28, 20237 min

My Sammi - My Heart Dog

I first heard the term "heart dog" after my beautiful girl Sammi died. A dear friend, hearing my intense heartbreak, said, "Oh, I see....

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Mary Balistreri

Jul 21, 20238 min

Care Giving & Care Receiving

What would you do for your sister? These words echo in my mind lately as we scramble to tie up the loose ends of Ann's life. We includes...

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